For much of my life, I would take in all the suggestions on how to plan for a “better” year ahead. Seriously, the resolutions I used to set were ri-dic-u-lous.

But I’ve been doing a lot of work this year, on myself, on my valued relationships, on identifying when someone is trying to get something from me versus working toward something with me. And while I am not the first person to talk about the necessity of keeping our eyes on our own path, I do want to have us take a minute to be honest.

Grab a notebook, open a new doc, and write your unfiltered, honest answers to the following:

1. Have you written as much recently as you thought you would? (This one’s pretty much a yes or no…) (remember honest and unfiltered)

2. What allowed you to do so? OR...What prevented you from doing so?

3. How has all that been your recent reality help or hinder you?

   1. Did your mental capacity and/or health seem to be in a perpetual slide of Chutes and Ladders?

   2. Did you have people needing more from you?

   3. Did your energy shift in regards to what was required for your job/day-to-day life/making ends meet/worrying about loved ones/_______, etc.?

4. Does writing nurture you?

I’m anticipating at least ten minutes to answer those questions, if you are giving yourself time and space to be honest with yourself.

Now, it's time for some real honesty: the vernal equinox isn’t going to magically create a shift to what was (sorry…).

If you answered no to #1 above, if you look at all the reasons you didn’t, do you have the capability to change any of that moving forward? Do you maybe need to change what you are expecting of your writing, of yourself?

If you have traded writing for sewing, painting, reading, etc. are you at a point in your life when writing isn’t nourishing you like it used to? If you are not under contract/using writing as a form of income, why are you trying so hard to write right now (if you say, “Well, Shakespeare wrote King Lear…” that’s the wrong answer).

Do you need to get real honest about how you are spending your time and WHY? If someone asks for shows to binge and you scroll through the comments having seen all of most of them, is that because you are rewarding yourself for a hard day, or are you numbing yourself to the world around you? What has happened to your phone usage? Do you feel more connected to the people around you?

Now stop.

Close your eyes and take a full, lung-satisfying breath.

• What do you feel in your neck and shoulders?

• When you’re thinking about how you’d like to move forward with all the things, but especially your writing, does what you want to accomplish feel honest and true, in the deepest part of your soul, heart, and gut?

• Does it feel like something you think you should want to do but don’t?

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This isn’t fast work.

Answering these questions won’t magically make you able to write better or rise earlier to get words in or provide more peace of mind and energy.

Answering these questions will give you time to reconnect with the truth within you.

To remember what it means to sit with your authentic self. From there, start asking other questions:

• What is my favorite excuse (real or perceived) for not doing what I want?

• How do I really feel about how I’m spending my time?

• What are the things I cannot change/modify/reverse about my reality?

• Where do I have some choice?

There has been a lot to process in the last six years (or more), and each of us has had different things. Feel your feelings, have an honest conversation, get grounded today, this week, and revisit this again, as you feel yourself numbing or spinning. Just as no one had the answers for how to get through this year, no one has answers on how you need to proceed, except you.

And I believe in you.